butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
