Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
