Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
