I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize