You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
