Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
