I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
