Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
