someone get that fucking seahorse.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize