yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
