My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
my god I love twenty year old dicks
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
