Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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