Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
