dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
