Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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