blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize