Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
