She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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