it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize