i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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