He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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