So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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