well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
