one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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