So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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