ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Randomize
