Me too!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
