The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
