For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
it glows. i had to have it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize