the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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