i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
