I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
