you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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