Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I love you. Go after that dick
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
