As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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