i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
