Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
