Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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