ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
