I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
