He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
