6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
