Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize