With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
