Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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