come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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