if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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