god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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