im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
