I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
