Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
