i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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