Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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