please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
