Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
