God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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