her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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