i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
