I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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