My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I could fuck to npr.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
