is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize