who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
