I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
