He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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