I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
