Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
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