I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
