I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
