I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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