holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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