I want to have your abortion
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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