my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
