hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
where am i from again
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The air taste purple.
Randomize
